As the title says I haven't done a journal entry in a while. I'm sorry for the length of this entry, I just write...a lot. I sort of stalk the journal section because its more interesting than the story section these days >.< I also haven't updated a story in forever because I've found that all of my creative juices have been squeezed out of me. The same goes with my music...
Anyway, the only interesting thing in my life right now is Nick. Yes, a dude. A guy. A boy of 19.
I really like him, pretty much falling (which isn't hard for me to do with him). Although I like him this much, I'm both aware and not aware of his feelings. I'm very intuitive and good at reading people, and he's not very open with me about a lot of things, most especially his feelings. I know for certain he likes me a great deal, but it's most likely not as much as I do him.
We can't date until I'm 18 because he's an adult and I'm a minor, and that's icky. Plus my parents said nay. That's okay though because it's like a "test of time" sort of a deal. If he cares he'll stick around, right? I don't know, but I'm being very guarded around him, especially since my friend doesn't like him at all because of the way he's treated an ex. An ex I don't personally know, but we're all a bunch of gossipers in Casper. I don't know what happened in the relationship because he's not going to tell him, and my friend hardly bothered to remember.
Also, a boy who was for a while my best friend. We were really close, and too close because he ended up falling in love with me although I had warned him that a romantic relationship between us was not possible at the beginning of a friendship when he asked me about it.
About three weeks ago we had this conversation that ended his best friend status. Two days before this conversation he had told me he loved me, although I could already tell, and just how it happened changed everything. He was hurting because I didn't feel the same, although I had already told him he just couldn't happen. So on the day of the conversation, he told me in the most douche bagg-y way possible that he was going to pull away from me. I understand the hurt of loving someone who doesn't love you back, trust me I do, but he turned into a complete asshole in two days.
And since then we've sort of talked as acquaintances but he's argued with me and called me lame because my idea of fun is boring. I like sitting at home and relaxing after I've gone to school and worked all day, instead of going out when I only have about four hours to myself before I pass out anyway, but that isn't good enough for him. I'm not a social butterfly either, so I don't go out much, and so he got all up in my beeswax about how I've never done drugs, I'm a virgin, and I've never defied my parents.
Then he said, "but don't do that stuff, yet still, your life is lame because you don't go out and do anything."
>.<
Not registered?
Create an account