What would You honestly do?

So on Wednesday night, (December 1, 2010) I was sent to the EMH by my doctor and Mom to be evaluated. I was there from about five to eleven waiting. I ended up getting checked out for a thyroid thing-a-ma-jig because apparently the doctor at the hospital thought that it could be contributing to my mental illness. Oh joy, I thought. More medicine for me to take. However I just got the results back and I don’t have it! So that in itself is a total score is it not?

However after getting that shtuff done, it was by this point seven o’clock and my Mom and I had to wait in the waiting room part of the ER for the people to call us in so I could be evaluated. It took two freakin’ hours. Joy.

Finally at nine my Mom was fed up with waiting and watching a television that was muted and she went to go and see what was going on, while I waited pretty much asleep on the rock hard, and plastic, couch. She ended up coming back with a woman named Lynne and we went into this secure place where there was one other girl about the age of sixteen or seventeen. Have you ever seen the movie Mirror Mask? If not I recomend you do, but if you have ya know the girl who is the main character? Well this girl in the waiting room looked exactly like her, I was stunned at the resemblance they shared.

Anyhow, my Mom, Lynne, and myself went into this tiny room that was really echo-y after locking up my belongings in a metal cabinet. You could hear people talking outside the room from the other end of the place, and that consisted in itself of a few screams and what not. I was a tad freaked. So we all finally sat down and started talking about why I was there. Finally Lynne asked my Mom to go sit outside the room with the girl and her mother, leaving me and this doctor lady alone.

I swear to Heaven she asked me about two hundred questions which were all super duper personal. I think towards the end she really hated me when I admitted some stuff but all I was thinking to myself when I saw that look on her face, Bitch don’t even give me that look. I’ve been waiting here for about four hours, have a mental illness, and I’m fucking tired. You have no idea what I’ve been through so don’t even.

After I finished answering them all, my Mom was called in and this time I had to leave. It was kind of awkward to sit out there with the girl because I was so pumped that she looked like the character from that movie I mentioned, plus I could hear bits and pieces of what my Mom was saying to the lady in the room. Awkward much? A few minutes later I was called in though and we all talked.

I could be kept in the hospital for a bit but Lynne didn’t think it was neccesary, so she gave me the option to be hospitalized at home or at the legitamte hospitale. I choose to go with my home option. After that another doctor came in, and I did not like her. She’s just one of those people you get vibes about and honestly she was really haughty and treated me like I was five.

We ended up getting out of there around eleven at night and when we got home it was eleven thirty. I legit collapsed on my bed and didn’t wake up until twelve the next day. My Dad stayed home with me on Friday and Thursday so I could keep in check, and I wouldn’t have a mental break down at school. It actually helped to have him there.

However Friday, I went to a play for my school (What I Want to Say But Never Will) because my friend/’daughter’ Emily was in it and I wanted to be there for moral support. So I thought I could try and become close to people who I once thought my friends, by telling them why I wasn’t in school. They to be honest didn’t give a flying fuck about me. I ended up sitting by myself the whole play and crying. I mean maybe it’s my fault for telling them the truth before about something I’d done and them thinking I was lying, but if someone told you that they had been in the EMH and needed two days to recover wouldn’t you care about them a little bit?

I don’t even know what to do anymore. I seriously can’t wait until this is all over and I’m away from these people.

Wish me luck to survive, Rachael

Oh, and props to you if you actually read this whole thing.