Hopeless

Okay, so this is my first journal entry. I don't know exactly what to write about or how I should write it but what I do know is that I'm going to go with the flow.

Have you ever felt like your whole world was dying? Have you ever felt like there's no one who can help you ... who you can talk to ? Have you ever felt hopeless?

That's how I feel. Like I'm my own little box that everyone can see but can't hear. They see the person I'm pretending to be but no one sees the red curtain hanging there waiting to be pulled open. It's like no one really knows me. I feel hopeless with out some one by my side to help me.

No ones ever home. My mother is always working and my Father is out of the picture. How would anyone notice if something was wrong? No ones ever there to notice anything and when everyone is there no one even cares. Everything just feels helpless.

My friends don't know about alot of things and how could they ? I love my friends but I also love my secrets. They try and be there for me I have to admit but they have enough problems of there own. How could I just throw more stuff into their lives? I can't. I'm not going to let myself. It's pointless.

Every night I close my door, turn out the light and cry. I cry for hours sometimes. I've become weak and eventually I'm done. I'm breaking down slowly but what can I do? I can't just throw my problems into some one else's life while they have stuff going on. I wouldn't let myself. I maybe becoming weak but when I fall it's better to have no one than to have everyone fall with you, right? I feel Hopeless.