Heartbroken? Depression? Lonely?

Well in a number of different entries I've talked about this certain person who has hurt me

now the 3rd or 4th time. Well here we go again. Had my feelings hurt. He now has a

girlfriend after today, after sorta just being friends with benefits. We talked about

relationships together, his answer went along the lines of "I don't want to hurt you to make

you hate me forever." I should have known this would happen. In reality in the back of my

head. I did know. But I guess I yet again had my feelings hurt over some stupid happy place

where maybe I could have a relationship. I never have any luck. I can't even seem to catch a

friggin' break anymore. It all started with my grandfather committing suicide. Then watched

my grandmother die, my dad then died, my first love cheating on me and leaving me

depressed, that ex telling lies about me, my grandfather dying, and in the mist of that all on

and off with that guy. I don't know what to do with myself. I've had depression for about two

years on and off. I feel really alone. I don't even know what to say. As usual writing this all

down helps me cope with my feelings.