It's easy to hate the world. But easier to hate yourself.

This is really just a rant...so sorry if anyone is reading this.
I can't go a day without standing infront of the mirror and start pointing out everything I hate about myself, my weight, my hair, my eyes, my face shape, EVERYTHING!!! Every single day I stand infront of the mirror and suck my stomach in to try and make a goal to how skinny I want to get.
I can't trust anyone, I always get stabbed in the back by the people I have trusted. And I am afraid that not being able to trust anyone will lead me to live a single life, hating myself. I am afraid that I will turn into my mother and live from paycheck to paycheck.
I can't remember most things from my childhood because my anxiety is so severe it is messing with with my brain. I HATE MY LIFE!!!! and there is nothing I can ever do to change that. I will always hate myself for everything and there is nothing I can truly do to fix that. My friends try to be nice and tell me that I am pretty and that they are jealous of how pretty I am, but I never believe them. I won't believe them. And the hardest thing is...I don't have the guts to tell anyone all of this in person. So no one that I know will ever know these things about me.