Lost

What are the things that keep me awake, my sins or my mistakes, but which is which, are my mistakes my sins or are my sins my mistakes. I am lost between to ideals and I do not know why but one seems to to be pulling harder. Is this the hand of God leading me to the light or a hope that the grass will be greener on the other side. Or is this only a place where my soul and energy will be drained for the sake of another? I have no clue where to go from here, I am lost.