Unholy Confessions; The Concept of Breathing

I don't even know what it is anymore, I mean I suppose I'm lucky that I am breathing and not being controlled by machines, but things come to a certain point. The point where you are just tired; tired of life, tired of drama, tired of everything. I think I have reached this point, because there is so much I would like to do and I could but I'm so tired anymore all I do is sleep. I think there are even phases of that, and I think I've been through all those as well.

First there's, probably mental tiredness, and that's when you can't think of anything to do and are essentially bored. And then there's emotional tiredness, when sometimes it's just hard to feel something, and I have been feeling that a lot lately which probably leads to the final phase, physical tiredness. After all that battling with the emotional and mental tiredness, you can't sleep because your mind is too busy, yet that's all you want to do because you feel void of everything else. Going through day to day feeling like this is no way to live, honestly.

I understand that drama keeps life interesting, but why do bad things always happen to good people? Seriously, I know some really good people and they got handed shit because someone else had to be a jerk. No, I'm not completely innocent of being a jerk mind you I don't purposely hurt someone to make myself feel better, that's just bull. It's not right no matter how you look at it, and I know everyone can't always be good, there's those temptations. But seriously I have been through one of the worst years of my life and I see no end in sight really. I mean I suppose I have yet to do something about it, but why did it have to happen, what lesson am I learning from all this?

Granted like I said, I'm not taking for granted that I'm still alive, because I am lucky in that aspect but it really is not fair when someone gets handed a bad card, and they have to suffer through it because of the things someone else did, through no fault of their own they have had to deal with someone else's crap and help them through it whether they were asked or not. I suppose that's what friends and family sacrifice for each other, but it's just unfair to the person who was trying to be nice in the first place.

I'm sitting here rambling now so, again I really don't know my original point, maybe it's just that I'm tired and I am trying to figure a way to change all this. Solutions are not that easy to find when you've given up on looking, and I wish I didn't have to give up but I don't know if there is anything else I can do at this point.