it's just christmas..

as many of you may have noticed, it's christmas.
- and christmas is something that i look forward to all year.
but then it's getting closer and closer to "the day" and all the decorations go up and everything's got that vibe about it. that vibe that's screaming "this should be good..."

then it's christmas eve and how do i feel?
it felt like just a regular friday night for me.
nothing special;, just that there was a six foot christmas tree standing beside the television all flashing lights and glittering balbals.

so why aren't i excited like my little brothers and sisters?
they are running around, crazy-happy cos' it's christmas eve.

whilst lying awake, christmas-eve night, i was thinking.
why has christmas gotten so dull?
and how come it's not as good as it was when i was five?

so, its the mornign on the big day, and my little brother runs in at five thirty in the morning screaming, "Lil, Lil! get up, Santa's been!"
and me knowing well that there is no Santa.
maybe that's why it's sop boring, theres nothing to believe in anymore.

- oh and to top it all off i ddin't get oen thing off my list.
cos' seriously, who wants a Glee Board Game?
i don't even watch Glee. i'd like to, but i never get around to it.

mum just said on the phone, "does your dad even know you?"

so if christmas is all about being together and with family, then how come i feel as though they don't even know who i am?

then it dawned on me.
ITS JUST CHRISTMAS.

after it, people sigh and say "thankgod that's all over".

we make such a big fuss over everything at christmas, and to make everything right and perfect, yet nobody ever gets the christmas they want.

if it wasn't a tradition, we may as well just call it "Crappy Presents Day."

i just hope next year, it'll get better.
and not "just" be christmas all over again.