Christmas. (Wake me up when the year is over)

Well Merry Christmas to everyone that's reading this. :) I really wish you the best. Hope you're seeing lots of family and friends. Getting lots of cool gifts. Being cozy next to a fireplace. Eating lots of cookies. Crying of joy. The hugs. The kisses. The love. I know not everyone has that ideal Christmas. Trust me I know more than well. This is the second year in a row I'm doing nothing for Christmas. My mom left my dad and I last Fall....my mom was the Christian parent and whatnot so I have my dad, the Jewish guy left. We didn't celebrate Hanukkah this year...."Why?" you may ask. Well that's because my dad is stressed and my dad doesn't really find me worthy of anything. I don't have much family anymore. I just have my dad basically. I really miss everyone that hates me on my mom's side of my family. I honestly do. I wish I never cut my grandma out of my life in a way. Because with losing that b*tch of an alcoholic, I also lost my two aunts and two uncles. I f*cking love them. And I'm missing out on seeing my cousin's grow up. Thanks to me cutting out that lady from my life, my dad won't let me see my mom who I haven't seen in 14 months. I'm only 14. I don't know how to handle this. It feels like everyone's having fun without me and I'm the only one just crying until I can't cry any longer. My friends care, but at the same time there is nothing they can do. I got a pretty cool flat iron from my best friend. Another gift I get to open which is from a couple of my friends (one of whom I love VERY much) tomorrow (funny reason behind it) and I'm excited. I think it's great. But I still feel I'm missing out. And there's no one that will understand why. So today, once I can go to sleep that is; I'll probably watch some depressing Christmas movies and write my stupid depressing story that no one understands what I'm trying to say about myself through it. But that's okay. >:) I needed somewhere to get this out. If there is a god out there, let him bless Mibba y'know.
December 25th, 2010 at 11:23am