Start of a new story?

I've been working on Microsoft Word on a story called, "Hi, I'm Micah Gintrey, and I know the Mob." (Long title right?) But I think it's pretty good, a good set of characters. But, how does this sound--

"My shaky hands brought the gun towards my head. My eyes stung, I knew they were red, it didn't take a rocket scientist to tell me. My head was pounding, and I couldn't move my middle toe on my right foot. Things were gone too far, I knew they wanted me alive, but I couldn't take it, just not like this."

I like it, but tell me if I should post the story! =)

P.S.- Can someone kindly tell me how to decorate my Journal posts (if you can) ?

THNX !