Savior of the Broken(?)

Dear Journal,

Hello, and welcome to my not-so-private journal. I've really had a lot of feelings on my mind recently, and before I get into them, I'm gonna put up a brief description of myself. (If you read my last entry, don't even bother reading the description. Just skip to the next paragraph)

My name is Andrea. I'm 5'4" with brown eyes & hair. I like music, writing, reading, and drawing. I'm not so great at drawing, but I love to do it anyways. I just started, so... yea. My favorite bands are My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Nirvana, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and Cobra Starship. Anyways, onto the real deal:

I feel so weird right now! I have this weird combination of anxiety, sadness, depression, nervousness, and sleepiness. And I just feel miserable. And when I get to feeling miserable, I think of a lot of things. The main thing I think about is life in general.

I get all paranoid and start thinking about life. I start thinking that people are after me, that there's gonna be lots of violence in the world, all that kind of stuff. I start thinking about the state the US is in, and how we could get bombed for any minute. I think of all the racist, sexist, and terroist people out there, and try to figure out why they're like that. Then I start to worry about all the depressed people out there, like me, who don't really know what to do with their lives.

I want to fix all this. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to figure out why everyone thinks a certain way, and try to persuade them to be better people.

I'm gonna try my hardest to do as much as I can for the world before we all turn to crap. I wanna be a famous author, and reach out to the people of this world who like to read. A book kind of like Thomas Paine's "Common Sense", to try to get them to see a better viewpoint.

And I also wanna be a musician! My idol, Gerard Way, is the reason for this. I admire that man (frontman of My Chemical Romance), for everything he's trying to do for this world. He is using his power as a frontman for a very famous band to try to fix the world. I wanna write lyrics and sing them to the people of this world. Music was a very big influence on me, and I know there are other kids like me somewhere out there. Surely I could write music that would make an impact on just a few kids.

For my own town, I'm gonna open up a psychiatry practice. Many of my friends, their other friends, families all over... they're just not the way they should be. I want to make the world a better place.

That being said, I know I can't ever do that. That's why I constantly say "want" and "try" and those words. I'm not anyone's savior. I screw up all the time, and I'm depressed most of the time, myself. I just want to do good for the world, and I really needed to get my feelings out about it. It's just something hopeless. I want to see the world... well, in a better state than it is. And it's never gonna happen. But I don't care. We don't NEED a perfect world. I don't want it to be perfect. That would be creepy. I'm just saying I wish people knew right from wrong, and were able to be happy with themselves and others. They'll get mad and argue, but not enough to go into a world war.

I don't know why I'm writing all this out. It probably doesn't make any sense, or sound as good as I want it to. I'm just simply letting all my emotions out. I know someone, somewhere, feels the same way as I do. I'm probably not making any sense anymore. I've rambled on enough. But at least I feel a lot better than I did before....