emotionally two faced

I have a boyfriend who loves me.
He's something major in my life. He makes me happy, he makes me laugh, he loves me, and I love him back.

I have a family who love me.
They're a constant in my life. They're always there for me, no matter what I do, how much pain I cause.

I have friends who love me.
They're a shoulder to cry on, a person to confide in, a group to have fun with, a life outside my own to care about.

I watch the look in their eyes when I'm not eating, or talking, or joining in. I see the pain and the worry when they notice the amount I'm drinking. I feel the hurt in the room when they confront me and I ignore it. I hear the whispered conversations about how to help me.

And I know why they do it, and I think I understand why they care, but sometimes, being emotionally dead to the world is the way forward in life.

But no one can be truly emotionally dead. There's always that flicker of life that needs to come out.

Letting all the emotion of life out in a moments release, watching the blood run from the canvas of skin, then hiding the artwork for no one to see.

I am Harvey Dent:
On one side, I have the love of family and friends. A future and a path to follow.
On the other, I have the burnt remains memories and the train wreck of emotions left behind by the life I've lived.

"Two faces and two minds. Can't fix them until they're one. Right?"