So long and Good Night, Helena...

Alrighty people,

I haven't really done anything on my journals or anything since November of last year (Happy New Year to all!) and today seemed like the time to get stuff out here.
Right now, I was just looking around Mibba when all of a sudden, my iTunes changed songs, which it's supposed to, I put it on shuffle for a reason. Anyways, this may not seem like a huge thing, but this time it was. Helena. That one song title, changed me. I am actually crying right now, because that's what this song does to me, and I am actually crying right now, which is what I do whenever I hear this song (and the concert was great, Gerard was amazing, everyone was. I cried when they played this live, so there.) , but today is different.

I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm going down. I'm being put on a diet, and even though my parents might not notice, telling me I"m overweight and this is going to make me feel better about myself, doesn't make me feel better about myself. It makes me feel like s**t, and when I feel like s**t, I think about my Grandpa.

He died when I was three. And I never stop thinking about him.

In my own way, I think "Helena" is the perfect song for how I feel about him leaving me, in any way. Please guys, I know this post may not make sense and I actually might be turning off the comments for this, if I can. I'm not looking for "This is so stupid, you don't deserve to be posting about a My Chem song like this" or something negative. I'm just feeling so low right now, that I thought that this might as well be the best way to let it all out, because I couldn't actually tell someone this face-to-face.

So, if you read this, I'm not always this upset, I'm just having a really bad day. And, hopefully, if my friends read this, don't worry. I'm not okay, but I'll put on a smile anyways :)

Thanks for listening if you did. And if you're going to jugde me on this, you shouldn't, but I can't stop you.

So for now everyone,
So Long and Good Night ?
-Maddie