...Where was I when we decided on all these text speak abbreviations?

Seriously. I feel like I don't speak English anymore, because I go on Twitter or something and I can't understand what people are trying to say.
Or maybe they don't speak English anymore. Of course, that would mean I'm unable to understand the 'language of my generation'. Which makes me feel...old. Thank you, 8 year olds with iPhones and Twitters.
I finally gave in, put aside my pride/youth, and googled 'smh' yesterday. Apparently it's the action of shaking your head and the h doesn't stand for h*ll...proud of you for that one, text speaking generation of mine.
Quite honestly though, I think we're an advanced enough civilization to, y'know, type out words...and/or realize that nobody 'roflmaos' and call it a day. 
And all this phonetic spelling, like 'y u b so meen? I doughna like it.'
That's just...not OK. I'm reading the words, not hearing you speak them. Therefore, I do not need you to spell it out by phonetic sounds. Me English speak (Yoda like :D)

And...yeah. Short journal is short, I guess. I have questions though!

1. Am I the only one who still thinks 'lol' instead of l o l? (what it sounds like as a word, not the separate letters.) Definitely took me at least a year to figure that one out.
2. Longest, most ridiculous text speak abbreviation you've ever seen?
3. Children (Under 10) really don't need stuff like iPhones and Twitters; yes or no?