Giving Up.

I really don't care anymore! High School is suppose to be the best 4 years of your life.. so far my freshman year was the best because I met my best friend Tati and the beginning of this year because I met Joe.. . I'm really just thinking about cutting off ties with everyone but those two... seems like their the ones to make me laugh when I'm crying or give me a hug when I'm sad or in Tati's case give me her hoodie when I pour hot chocolate on my own hoodie. Life is so difficult for me right now its not even funny!! The last 2 years has been basically nothing but drama and I can't physically,emotionally or mentally take it anymore. I'm tired!! When ever they see me crying they come up to me and try to help but my supposed other "best friend" is no where to be found.. Thanks for showing me that you care! All the drama for the past 2 years hasn't been mine.. It's been hers.. I have no choice in the matter because I'm her "best friend". No I don't like drama and I choose not be in it! This was the last straw.. I've done nothing to hurt you but all you do is put me in harms way... Its always about you... but what about me? I feel like all you is take all that I dish out! Its a two way street!! We're both suppose to take and give equally but I'm giving and all you do it take... I'm tired of sitting and wondering when am I going to become first on your list? You used to be first on mine.. When you told me all of those secrets.. they're all still in my mind, I haven't told anyone.. but when I tell you secrets you tell your mom.. wow thanks for being a good friend! *note the sarcasm* I've come to realize this year only Tati and Joe have my back.. They actually care! When I'm crying, Tati and Joe are there for me! Giving me hugs and talking to me... Where are you? oh yeah flirting or laughing with someone else!! oh but when you cry its the end of the world! I have to consult you.. next time I come into school crying.. I'm going to lash out and its really not going to be pretty. Because Honestly... I'm done and I'm going to start distancing myself from you.. Every time I think about our relationship.. I start to cry because we used to be so close and now where are we? Honestly, I have no clue... I love how you start to care now... Well, guess what its too late.. I'm already broken.