Astrology craze. Confused!

Oh, tell me why my friends are all insane?
Alright, so I recently got into astrology, and horoscopes. And all I've been doing is looking at my friends sign description and laughing my ass off because it describes them exactly.
Mine however, is too correct.
Like, it's insane, I don't understand how I'm like that! I'm a cancer, right? And it says that I'm 'Self-pitying, Moody, and Over-sensitive', and the sad thing is that it's true!
I like this guy right? And my friend is on a mission to get us together. If he succeeds, he gets three wishes.
I already have five, he only has one right now.
Because we have a system. Do something that the other person asks, if you don't want to, they say, "I'll give you __ wish/es!" and you should accept. Because if they're mad at you, you can use a wish. and if they seriously won't do something for you. you can use a wish or offer an amount of them. It's a very good system.

Anyways, So I looked for his sign and found it on this website that got me all crazy about astrology. He's a Scorpio. And as soon as I read it, I called up my friend, left him a message saying, "MISSION ABORT! MISSION ABORT!"
He called me back like three seconds later freaking out. I'll tell you all why Iwas freaking out.
His Scorpio description was basically all, 'The Scorpio man is a strong masculine, sexual force. They are very deep and intense'. And I don't know about all of you Scorpio dudes, but it fits the guy that I like, like a glove.
And it scared me because I'm all 'not a sexual force' And I get scared wicked easy with that junk.
And freaking, Cancer's compatible signs are, Taurus, Virgo, and... Scorpio! GAH!
I said abort mission because I didn't think we'd work! And now it's telling me, 'Oh, lookit! You guys are all compatible and junk!'
Way to piss me off!
So, now I'm here, freaking out about it, because I really like this guy, but he scares me some, just because. But he's the cutest, sweetest thing. Even if he is wicked intense.
Ah, Sad Face.
Now, Onto a different subject.
So my friend recently broke up with this guy that we met at the mall a few weeks ago.
I love him! He was just so cute, and funny, and adorable, and when he told me he was gay, I almost fell. Almost cried, and almost tackled him. So I did a little combination of them both.
I gave him a really big hug. I was so jealous when he asked my friend out. Partially because I wished he wasn't gay, and partially because I had no boyfriend.
I later found out that he is a Taurus. Again, I freaked out.
And I was all like, "That's Why I liked him so much!!"
So I called him, we had a conversation and stuff. I was all like, "Are we like, never going to talk again?" And he was all like idk yet, because he thought 'we' meant myself and my friend.
No, honey, I meant me.
But, we worked things out, we will be friends, because he's way too cool to pass up. He just, uh, never wants to talk to my friend again...
Is that messed up?