The Ugly Duckling

This website.. Everywhere I look there are gorgeous people. Guys and girls, you are all so beautiful, I can't help but stare. I mean that as a compliment.
But, on the other hand, I'm jealous. Why can't I look that good without make-up or lazing around in my pjs? Why do I have to try so hard to look acceptable? I guess I could blame genetics, but not really. That's only part of it.
I realize I sound rather petty and self-absorbed, but I really can't help it. I try so hard to look okay, but it just isn't.. possible. I've been trying to lose weight but how do you do that when you love food so much? I wish I could look at myself in the mirror and just like what I see. That when I see my reflection I didn't frown and think of all of the things I could change. I want so bad to just throw on my jeans and t-shirt in the morning and not give a shit what people think, but I just can't. I want so bad to just put on my bathing suit and be confident and not cringe at my thighs or stomach or lack of boobs.
I don't want to be like this.
January 20th, 2011 at 02:34am