Crushes.

You know what sucks about em?

-that person may not like you back
-they may actually like someone else
-they may think of you as a brother or sister
-they have no clue how you feel
-they are SO blind!

My problem? All of them.

There's this guy. Know him for forever. We've been close, and he's like my brother. I'm like his sister. We even call each other that.

I can't tell him how I feel because I know it will mess things up. Heck, I didn't even know how I felt for sure until I saw him today..with another girl. And it sucked.So bad. Another bad thing? He's one of my close friend's ex, I even helped set them up.

I really don't want to feel the way I do about him. Most of my friends think we look perfect together..They don't know how it works though, cause they're not in my position.

They don't know how much it scares me. They don't know how much I think about this every single day. They don't know for sure if this will be a good or bad thing. They don't know.

I'm so scared. I don't want to lose him as my best friend, cause I've been there before. I don't lose my other close friend either, cause I've also been there. I don't want to lay awake every night wondering 'what if'. I don't want to open myself up to the billions of possibilities of getting hurt.

My friends all think I'm this brave, outgoing girl that's not afraid of anything. That's how well my wall is built. I'm none of those things, at the slightest.

I cry almost every time I break up with someone or someone breaks up with me. I cry thinking about the past. I cry thinking about the bad things that have yet to happen. I cry and cry and cry.

And no ones ever there for me to cry on. No one.

I don't know what choice to make. Go for the guy and possibly lose two of the best friends I've ever had, or don't go for it and always wonder what I'm missing out on.

I need help.