Indecisive

Dude, why can’t you see that it’s you? You’re so blinded by the fact that I “love” my boyfriend. I don’t know how I can go on like this; you mean more to me than he does. It hurts to know that I can never have you. It hurts to know that you think of us as strictly friends. My heart is crushed once again, by your ignorance. You called me your best friend today, and yesterday, you called me by your girlfriend’s name. How I wish to be her. It’s not right; I’m always here, looking upon you guys. Acting strong, acting like everything is okay; when honestly I’m fading away. I even drew you as a fucking butterfly on my arm, just to stop me from cutting. You mean the world to me, but if I ever tell you, I’d lose you. And I won’t risk that, ever. You mean too much to me, I can't lose you, not now, not ever.

Even though you're my best friend, I wish we could be more than that. But we never will be, you love her too much. We're destined to be friends, so why change that? You and I are exactly alike, but maybe that's not how relationships are supposed to go, as they say opposites attract. I've got no chance, so I should just give up. So I will always watch you and her, with that shallow jealousy hanging in my chest; longing to be the one that you think of, the one that you kiss, the one that you come to for love. I will never be the one.

But I will always love you.