Mad Libs - Some seriously entertaining stuff!

Last Christmas my siblings and I got one of those Mad Libs books for Christmas from our Uncle. During the long car trips from one place to another in the car in the States we would complete a couple of the stories in them and now I am sharing some of these stories with you.

In case some of you don’t know what the Mad Libs books are, they are those books where you have to fill in the blanks without looking at the story. It tells you what type of word needs to be inserted into the blank. For example, below the blank it will say adverb, noun, body part, person in room, adjective etc. Once you have done that you read out the story and it comes out a complete bunch of nonsense. Very entertaining might I add.

Story one: Bringing home the good… Or is it bad?... News

Dear Parent,

Here is Callum’s report card for the slick eighth grade. He has received a “Q” in English, a “J” in Mathematics, and an “A” in Social Bra’s. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing hoof in frame education because his broken hamstring prevented the taking of the final crack. This snarly class can be made up in our summer clip. The school believes a “parent-nut conference” is necessary to discuss Callum’s sly behaviour. He continues to draw tubby pictures on the bathroom baby and talks mysteriously behind the teacher’s thigh. Please call the principal’s vase for a disturbing appointment immediately.

Sincerely,
Ms. Stevens
Head Mail Man

Story two: Ice-Skating Champ

Traditionally, Jesse Helena Stevens is as cool as the pimple on which she skates. Last night, however, she surprised her Muppet fans by pumping her buttocks in the air and jumping into her clammy coach’s slipper when her winning boobs were flashed on the post! Once again, America’s five-time fern champion had outdueled her four wankers to win her third world creek. In a post-game interview, her coach, Pops Edwards, justified the champ’s whaling enthusiasm: “Tonight she displayed pink athleticism in performing the triple Stevens loop and the double hair. I don’t think she has ever been better!”

Story three: How to date the coolest guy/girl in school

It’s simple. Turn the skittles. Make him/her want greedily to date you. Make sure you’re always dressed to skipping. Each and every day, wear a g-string that you know shows off your belly button to smelly advantage and make your tree look a million cars. Even if the two of you make meaningful toe nail contact, don’t admit it. No hugs or bushes. Just shake his/her leg firmly. And remember, when he/she asks you out, even though a chill may run down your chair and you can’t stop your monkey from jumping, just play it hairy. Take a long pause before answering in a very gay voice, “I’ll have to snort it over.”

Story four: It’s magic

Ever since I was knee-high to a cock, I have loved watching strippers perform their pole tricks. If you’ve never seen a magician pull a thong out of a handcuff or catch a whistling bullet in his skull, you’ve missed many of life’s greatest laps. When I was seventeen, I gave bouncy thought to becoming a sleight-of-ear lobe expert. I was desperate to prove the neck is quicker than the eye. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the cocky skills to do that. Today, I satisfy my craving for magic by going to Las Vegas and watching Siegfried and Roy make a live crocodile disappear into spiky air, and the casinos make my money disappear just as furiously.

These are just four of the many stories we completed. The underlined words are the words we put into the story. I hope you got a laugh from this. It defiantly filled in many long hours of being stuck in a crowded car with laughs.