The Way She Feels.

I came across this video on youtube. Its called The Way She Feels by Between the Trees. <3 I love it. It really hits home.



I've been cutting myself since I was nine. My mom had a heart attack and I couldn't stand all the new stress and things going on. Mom's heart attack wasn't the only thing. My step dad was an alcoholic and tended to go into violent rages. The kids at school were complete jerks, which didn't help any. I went from wearing pink, skirts, tank tops and smiles... to jeans, tee shirts, sweatshirts and tears. I used to have tons of friends, being popular even. I started to pull myself away from everyone at school and home.

I haven't cut in almost two years. Not because I don't want to, because trust me, there are times when really really want to. My mom told me that if she finds another mark on my wrists, or anywhere else, she is going to send me to a psych ward. She found out because one day I went without my bracelets or a sweater so she saw the scars. I don't cut, but I've found other ways. I burn and bite my lips and cheeks until they bleed like hell...

This isn't because I'm looking for pity. I'm writing, because of many other things. I needed to get some stuff off my chest. Also, because I'm really tired of the bullying. There are kids that are picked on and teased because they cut or are depressed or "emo" as some put it. If you know they are in pain, why add to it? There is no logic behind it. Let me stab you in the arm in the same spot over and over, or stick my finger in it and make the pain worse. You guys are, no have, killed people by putting these labels on them and those sideways glances because of how they dress or your assumptions of them. People say words don't hurt, but they sure as hell do. Even if they are from strangers, they hurt. And hearing the same thing over and over builds up.

I'm not going to be a hypocrite and tell people who cut not to. Because, I know it sometimes feels like it helps. Supposedly, one cut can help relieve emotional pain for 20 minutes. *shrugs* What I've heard. I'm not encouraging it either. Don't go burning, scratching, biting or cutting as a way out. Because... after a while, at least for me, it became almost an addiction. So if you have thought about cutting, please don't. It's not worth it...