Story!! Eek. :) Comment for comment.

So, I just posted my very first story! :)
It's called Lane's Story.
I'd love for you all to read it and comment on it and just give some feedback!
I'd like to know what I can change for next chapter to make it even better. :)
Oh, and I didn't mention the best part yet.
When you comment on my story, I'll comment on one of yours. :)
But, you get what you give. If your comment is 2 words, I'll comment back with 2 words. Give me something worth while and I'll do the same for you.
And I want helpful criticisms, not nasty insults. I don't want something like, "Wow, your story blows." I'll probably comment back with something like "And your story blows, sucks, and swallows. So eat it, bitch." haha, just kidding. I won't say that, but you catch my drift. You receive what you give.
Thank you so much. :)