Blinded By Friendship

Best friends.

You can tell them anything, they wont judge.

You can be yourself, they won't care.

You can cry and complain to them, they'll always be on your side.

But what happens, when you figure out that they actually don't care?

How would you react?

I thought I would always be able to depend on my best friend. We met in the 4th grade, instantly becoming inseparable. Yeah, we've had our fights. But we always made up and went back to laughing and telling jokes. I thought I had found one friend that would always stick with me.

But 5 days ago, she started yelling and screaming at me. She was mad at something, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why.

So I asked her what I had done. Her response?

"You're taking credit for a drawing I made up."

A drawing. A fucking drawing.

She didn't care about me enough to just ignore it? She didn't even know that I was the one to draw it. She saw the drawing 'she made up' on a chalk board in class, and assumed it was me.

She ignored me for the rest of the day, and rubbed it in my face that all of our close friends, except me, were all going to her house to hangout.

She walked right past me in the hallway, acting as if she didn't know me.

Because of one fucking drawing.

These past few days, we've been off school. I haven't talked to her in days. She hasn't responded to my texts, or calls. I wanted to make it better, even if it was an empty apology.

But with the time off, it gave me a chance to reflect on everything. And you know what I've come to realize?

She treats me like shit.

How could I have not noticed before? They say you can be blinded by love, but I've been blinded by friendship.

She does things purposely to annoy me.

When I'm excited about something, she's find something negative about it to bring me down.

She yells at me when she knows I'm right about something, because she won't admit she's wrong.

When I tell her about this girl I like, she refuses to talk about it. Even though she told me she was okay and not bothered by me being bisexual.

When I tell her I have a crush on someone, she tells me they don't like me, and to not get my hopes up.

When I talk to her about my dream of touring, being a drummer, playing with a band, she tells me, "It'll never happen, get over it."

When I show her a new band I like, she tells me they suck.

She points out all the wrong things I do, and never lets me forget.

She can't bare to see me happy.

She's not my best friend. And I feel like an idiot letting her walk all over me for 7 years. But I don't regret the times we've had together. I did always have a good time with her, when I didn't see all of the bad things she would do. I don't regret the day we said, "Lets be best friends!" I don't feel as if I wasted my time, as many would believe. I don't hate her for all she's done. I can't.

But now, now I'm done.

I'm sick of her bullshit.