Dear father

Dear father,
i know you can't read this and probably don't know it even exists,
but i had to write about everything. i love you i care for you but you know the right way to hurt me. everybody makes mistakes it how we learn. As the youngest in our family everyone else has done something bad, you put so much pressure on me because I'm the last chance to turn out perfect. The thing about me is the more you push me towards something the bigger the chance that im going to go the other way. I make one mistake and i can never live it down. You've tried to stop me from gong round my friends because thats where i say the guy, what you have to understand is nothing happened at all, nothing, no kiss nor hug nothing.
Last night i went round hers.. you were so angry it was scary. I got back and walked up stairs and most of the night i was up in my room, you were picking up my sister, so i came down stairs. i spoke to my step mum and you come back. The shouting begins. I know i was in the wrong but your not listening to me you say i don't do what im told. You tell me to go sit in the living room im upset so i say no. You grab my wrists and pull me. I fight back. Tears are flowing let me go. You let go i it on the sofa crying, you stand there and watch then let me leave. So angry, so upset i pull out the razor again. Few hours later My step mum comes up stairs and hugs me tells me you feel bad, But nothing can erase that night from my memory the world was against me. I wanted you to listen, i wanted them all to listen but they shut their ears just like you. Dear father i cry i'll never forget, Dear father i speak i want to die.