This is not meant to offend anyone. It's just my beliefs. And if you guys have a comment, please, let me know. I'm incredibly open-minded.
I've been thinking about my religion lately. My mom told me we were going to start going back to church on Saturdays, and that made me think.
My family is Roman Catholic, and we used to practice it every week. I went to Sunday School and got confirmed last April. But it was more of a chore for me than an experience I enjoyed.
Now, thinking about going back to church, I kind of don't want to.
I mean, I'm so grateful for everything I have, and I'm very, very blessed. But I'm more agnostic than Catholic nowadays.
I've been through a lot of trials in my sixteen years on this Earth. I've lost so many people I've loved and I've faced situations where I would've gladly welcomed death. I've had my parents verbally/emotionally abuse me and I've had my "friends" do the same. I've been bullied.
I know that God will put us through hardships in life. But I also think he gives us a bright spot or an escape that's embraced by everyone else. Like, an accepted coping method to get us through the rough patches.
All of my coping methods have been torn down. Bashed. And I've been taunted for them - by family, friends, and peers.
Somehow, that just doesn't seem right.
And whenever I pray, it doesn't seem to get noticed. I pray for everyone in my family - I pray my Grandpa will get better. I prayed my uncle would get better from the pneumonia he got while he had HIV. My uncle was taken from me. My Grandpa has been getting worse and worse.
So for now, I'm agnostic. I haven't been shown anything major, and I'm content with getting by on the little faith I have and the amazing people who love and support me.
I have beliefs in other little elements of different religions - karma, for instance, is something I believe in, and I've seen it in action.
And then I believe in things completely against religions. I am a huge supporter of gay rights (and I grew up in a hugely homophobic household) and I don't think suicide sends you to hell. I support abortion. I also think the Big Bang theory is the most true scientific theory that isn't proven.
I'm a huge pacifist. I hate violence and war and I think that there is no way to peace - peace is the way.
I guess I have my own little hybrid religion going on. And I'm content with that. While I may not have a God that I'm positive is there, I do have things to have faith in, and I do think that one day, I'll choose the real, solid religion to support. It might not be a branch of Christianity - so I'll choose after I leave my house - but it will be something I fully believe in. Something that hopefully encompasses all my beliefs.
If you have an opinion on the matter, please, leave it below. But if your comment is rude, I will delete it. I want an open, civil discussion, if I even get one at all.
And please, don't try and shove your religion down my throat. I don't enjoy that much.
Something I've been thinking about. [Religion - ooh, controversial!]
January 30th, 2011 at 11:53pm