Regarding Only in My Mind

As the title suggests, this journal entry is going to be about my story Only in My Mind. It's for any readers that still care and actually pay attention to my activity on here.

I've been working on Only in My Mind since I was 15. It's been over five years since I've started. It's the second time I'm writing it, as half-way through the first draft, I looked back at the first chapters and realized just how much my writing had matured. Just to give an example of what I mean, here is the first few sentences from chapter one of the original version of this story:

“Don’t push me!”
“Well then don’t touch me!”
“I didn’t touch you!”
“Yes you did! I felt it!”
People were staring at you and your brother as you argued in the streets of Diagon Alley. Three of those people happened to be…
“Harry? Ron? Hermione? How are you guys?”
They just smiled at you. They were apparently amused by you bickering in public.

Oh yeah. It was also originally in second person - another reason for re-writing. And maybe it's because I'm my worst critic, but like I said, I couldn't stand the way I used to write. Diana and John were very one-dimensional characters, as well, and I barely stuck to the personalities of existing ones. So I chose to start from scratch.

And almost six years later, I am five chapters away from finally finishing what I started - from finishing my first piece of creative writing.

It's funny, but while I still appreciate fan fiction in all of it's forms, I'm almost excited to be over. I always thought that at this point, I'd be disappointed. That I'd miss writing about Diana and her life and her changes, but to be honest, I'm glad for it to be almost over. Maybe it's because I'm sick of borrowing characters and just want to write about my own. While I get to do this with Diana, there are also a bunch of other characters that were previously created and I can only mold so much until my story becomes a poorly-written fan fiction, ignoring the boundaries Ms. Rowling had set.

Of course, without fan fiction I may not have ever started writing. I had always wanted to write, but found it too difficult to produce enough of my own interesting characters and plot line that I was never satisfied with any of my ideas. But when I discovered Harry Potter fan fiction, I was able to overcome those challenges. There was a cast of characters fully available to me, along with a setting and basic plot from the first five books (just to clarify, books six and seven had yet to be released when I started writing.) All I had to do was create one, maybe two original characters and slot them in where I wanted them.

As I wrote, my writing style matured, and I was able to envision characters and plot lines of my own. My other story, The Acoustic Cafe was able to develop, as well as a bunch of one-shots.

And I guess when all that was going on, there was less fun in writing Only in My Mind. I started seeing all of these plot-holes in previous chapters I hadn't realized, and noticing where J.K.'s own characters behaved in a way that didn't reflect their personalities at all. And this really bothered me.

I'm not saying I'm giving up on the story. I'm going to finish it, because it's been too damn long not to. That being said, I've seriously been considering re-writing my other story and my one-shots, because I think they can be improved. But Only in My Mind? Once those five final chapters have been written and posted, it will be finished for good.

I don't know why I'm writing this. Probably because it's late and I don't feel like going to sleep. Also because these thoughts have been clouding my mind lately.