Is it weird that all the colours in the world seem somehow duller after I come to all my negative realizations? I am aware that the world hasn't necessarily changed; just my perception of it, but the yellows now mirror the colour of aged paper, the blues seem almost gray, and I'm not even sure if I can still see the vibrant oranges and reds.
To me, it seems like colour shouldn't just disappear from the world like that. It's wrong.
Ah, yes. The source of my extreme dissatisfaction. Well, there is Jordan, as usual. And Tyler, as sometimes. And the general lack of humanity in "human" society, as always. Of course there are several other little things, but those are my three main pressure points. I'm almost willing to just drop everything and let the chips land where they may because I'm sick of all this bullshit just being up in the air.
Tyler. You were probably the first I failed to save, and I miss you. Enough said.
Jordan. I hate you. That would be another "enough said" if it were even remotely true. No, instead I am stuck with all the stupid drunken messages you're sending me that you won't even remember in the morning because you are that trashed. You know how much I fucking hate it when people drink. You know I hate it, and you know why I hate it, but I made an exception for you because you're really nice, and you seemed like you could handle yourself. Yeah, after all the shit in my inbox, I can't say I honestly believe that anymore.
Fucking awesome.
Wasn't it just last week that your friend almost died of alcohol poisoning? I know that you blame it on his stupidity and the people he was with. I know you think you can make better decisions than he did. You've told me a thousand times, and I get it. You know. But somehow, it still doesn't seem like it. Want to know why? Because he almost died of alcohol poisoning. You, on the other hand, undoubtedly are going to overdose on something far worse and not make it out alive. Dumb drunk asshole... can you really not see that me bitching at you is an attempt to let you know I care about what happens to you?
Fucking hell.
And then there is just society in general. I hate to break it to you, but you just fucking suck. One day, I am going to become a hermit with a half dozen cats and a ton of ancient books so I don't have to be reminded every single day of how far we've fallen.
That is my goal in life.
To become a hermit.
Fucking Pathetic.
Well, as you can all tell how wonderful a day this has been, I think I may go scream into a pillow or kill someone. Something of the like that will make the world a better place. Hopefully there will be a few less unenlightened assholes by the end of the night, because I am sick of the ignorance, the homophobia, the ignorance, the substance abuse, and most of all, THE IGNORANCE!!!
See you all later, I have some angry writing to do.
Well... some more angry writing to do.
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