i only had less then 3 months to go

I only had less then 3 months to go till i made it a year with out cutting my self. WELL GUESS WHAT............i messed up and ended up cutting yestuday. There has been way to much stuff going on in my life right at this moment and i tried everythign to get stuff off my mind. i guess it didnt work since i now have cuts on my arms yet again. im very dissapointed in my self. There is no longer anyoen i can talk to because my family would not understand and all of my friends have turned their backs on me just because i'm dating this guy tha tthey do not like, and because they are all virgins and i'm not. How can people that i have knowen for most of my life be so....so HARSH?!?!?!?!? I should have never trusted anyone to be there for me when i needed them the msot in my life. its not like it matters as long as i was ALWAYS there for them not matter who they dated or what happened in our past. Does this mean i'm a weak person that i put the past behind me and moved on? I can't keep on going like this. I Haved messed up way to much stuff this week not only did i cut my self again but i cheated on my boyfriend with two different guys a day apart. I didn't know what was happeneing all i know is i was drunk. I totally hate my life and i'm so sick of telling people i need them in my life whe ni'm only an option in theirs.

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