The Ramblings Of A Mind

Hey!

I'm not sure why I'm writing, I don't think anyone is reading or follows my blogs........yet.
Anyway, whatever.

I'm reading a lot of random Postsecrets.
If you aren't familiar with postsecret google it :P.

Anyway I've seen a lot of them and yes one day I will post my own, but some of them have made me think.
One was something like "I wish some people new how much I admire them from a far"
It made me think about one of my friends, it's funny she gives out about how she is a lot of the time when really I'd love to be like her.
I'd love people to be intimidated by me and look up to me.
I'd love people to think that I don't care what they say etc.
I'd love to not fall so easily into things, I'd love to be able to not let my feelings take over.
I guess I'd just love not to care so much about.......well everything.

Sometimes I wish I could just stop it, like I know caring for things is a part of who I am and it's a great thing.
But caring so much for things can bring you down, when something bad happens in the world which happens everyday it can drastically change my mood.
& that sucks because it's usually nothing to do with me but it upsets me as if it is.
Don't get me wrong I want to change the world so these bad things that happen to certain people for certain reasons don't happen as often.
Yes I am that much of a hippie ha ha ha.
But it would be great to be like some of my friends and not care so much about it.
If I could just block it out, I'd probably be a lot happier but the truth is, this is who I am and I can't just block the bad stuff out and carry on.
I have to at least try to change it.

I'm really looking forward to one day, hopefully soon posting my postsecret.
I don't know what to say though, I've plenty of ideas.
One that keeps floating around especially lately, & I don't know why I am posting this here but I need to vent and I'm dying to say it out loudish ha ha, I know this isn't out loud.
Anyway, my idea is something like "I now blame my father for any time I have failed in life"
or "I hate myself a little more when I miss the person who hurt me in a way only he could"

They're both personal but the fun of having a secret, is the people you love and know not knowing.
I know these secrets would't surprise most people I know but it's no fun showing it to them before I post it.

I think I am done ranting here.
Enjoy your day people who stumbled upon this post.