Haunted by the past

People always see me as the happy girl that is always smiling and I try hard to keep up that facade. What they fail to notice though, is that my eyes are rarely that happy.
I've had a pretty crappy childhood which still gives me nightmares.
Those who know the details tell me to seek professional help, to find someone to talk to. That is exactly what I've done many times but nothing helps.

Every once in a while, I go through a period when nothing is fun. All I want to do is cry, hidden beneath blankets in my bed. I want to hide away from the world and never face another person again. One of those periods is happening right now and I've lost the drive to write/edit my stories. I just can't see the point in doing that. After all, I'm a very crappy writer anyway.

I'm NOT writing this to try to make you feel sorry for me. Your pity is the last thing I need. I wrote this just to get it off my chest. I'm sure no one will read this anyway.
Uh, I'm just going to stop here, no need to go all depressed. I'll just go and hug my pillow or something...
Goodnight

/Disa
February 25th, 2011 at 11:42am