Love life being Bisexual. Yeh it's shiett

Ranting about my life pree much.

Giving out some info :P

So at the start of 2O1O I met this dude called Blake. We were really good friends. Well as things go. We started liking eachother. Oh yeah did I mention he was 17 when we met? And he turned 18 in the march, and I turned 14 in the April.

I was like in love with this dude. He can do no wring in my eyes. He's perfect. But he turned 18 and we couldn't do anything because he was 'an adult' so for over 5 months we dealt with the pain of liking eachother but we could do nothing about it.

So in the august I went on a 2 month trip to England. And we decided that it would be best to try and distance ourselves. So we went out to the park for one last time. To finalize it and say goodbye.

We kissed. For a while actually. 40 minutes almost all of it kissing. :/
It was great. We like cuddled and everything. It was amazing ): and then I went home. I was estatic. I was so happy. So at Least I wasn't saying 'what if' I was saying 'we did'

And right when I got on the plane he texted me and it said 'I love you jack x' it fucking tore me apart. </3

so because of that when I was Over there I bought a phone just so I could text him everyday. :/ and I spent $60 on him just texting. So we kept talking.

We had a massive fight around Halloween. And we still talk. But not as much. He thinks im over him. And I was. For a while. But I feel like. He's the only person in the whole universe who gets me. He knows about me. He helped me with coming out. And when I had no one else. He was there. He always assured me that there was nothing wrong with me. Nomatter what happens I could always tell him everything. Oh well. A different lover is not a sin. Right ?

Frankly I don't know why he hasn't told me to fuck of yet. I treat him like shit.

He deals with all the crap that I do to him. All the mind games. And vicious stuff I put on Facebook about him ): and after all ofthat. He still forgave me.

I don't know. I'm just so lost with him. :s help+advice wanted.
ThanksxxPawsUp<3 ("")("")