Some Hilarious Nostalgia (Yes, I Am Writing About My Embarrassing Emo Days).

Thank you to turducken for inspiring this, her journal made me literally rofl. xD

It all started when I was thirteen years old and I heard Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams on the TV. It just spoke to me, man, because you know, at thirteen years old my life was so hard and I was so under-appreciated and no one understood me and my angst was drowning me, man. Yeah. Man.

Anyway, I got into Green Day pretty fast after that, and before I knew it I was a full-scale emo. Of course, I said that I was "punk", but looking back it was pretty much obvious that I was an emo. I wore black, wrote sad poetry, screamed at my parents because they didn't understand me, cried, wore too much eyeliner (that my mum put on for me. Yeah, I was such a rebel), wrote songs, blogged on the internet about how misinderstood I was, pretended to cut myself (I was too chicken to actually do it) and rebelled at school by wearing my shirt untucked (shock! Horror!) and my top button undone.

Now, I know. It's a lot to take in. How could sweet, kind, innocent Fionnuala have ever been such a rebel? Well, I think it was something to do with the fact I was taking Green Day's lyrics seriously and wanted to be some sort of apathetic Jesus of Suburbia-type figure. Yes, before you asked, I did form a band. We were called Bad Year (from the Dookie cover) and at first we were a Green Day tribute band, but then we (well, I, mostly) started writing our own stuff. Unfortunately all of the songs are at my parent's house in Ireland and I'm at university in Scotland, but I do remember some bits of the songs, and I also remember what the others were about.

The Album of Pain, Man ...
Turning Of The Pages (Please Don't Go): Says it all, really, doesn't it? xD It was about a father leaving, and was about two pages long. xD It was like, really depressing. But of course it was, because that was my life, you know? I couldn't help it that I was underappreciated and from a broken hom- wait, I wasn't. I just pretended I was on the internet. If I remember correctly, some of the lyrics went something like this:

_________________Something's going through my mind
_________________Something that I just can't hide
_________________Something that keeps me awake at night
_________________You.

_________________Wish I knew what went wrong: if it was just changes
_________________Wish I knew what it was: the turning of the pages
_________________Someone's gone.


Feel my imaginary angst, man. Feel my pain. Funny thing was, four years later my parents did seperate. I didn't write sad songs. I went and got drunk with my newly single father and we played Call of Duty. xD

Darkness Child: I just remembered this one and lol'd hard. xD It's another one whose title speaks for itself, really, but I remember showing this one to my mum, and it's hilarious because I swore in it (the f-word, I know, terrible) and I wrote the actual word, then scribbled it out, then write it again with stars, and scribbled it out again, before settled with "f-d". xD Such a rebel but can't let mum see the f-word. I can't really remember many of the lyrics to this, I just remember it consisted of the lyrics I'm a Darkness Child over and over and something about being under-appreciated.

Artist's Impression of the Song:

_________________Hurr durr underappreciated hurr
_________________Hurr de derp misunderstood
_________________I'm a darkness child herp I'm a darkness child
_________________Hurr durr


It's Not OK: It wasn't, you know. I was so underappreciated and depressed because Billie Joe Armstrong would never be mine. I wrote this song which, regrettably, made it online, and in the words of The Social Network: "The internet isn't written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink."

Oh, don't I know it now? Anyway, here's a depressing snippet of woe. No, I didn't use apostrophes, because I was way too apathetic for that:

_________________You think Im gonna be fine
_________________You think Ill pick myself up
_________________You think that youve got away
_________________Well my friend, its tough luck.
_________________You think that it didnt hurt
_________________You think Im happy
_________________Well Ive got something to say:
_________________Youve turned my life crappy.


I also vaguely remember a song which contained the lyrics, "Sticking out like a sore thumb, being reminded of the loser that I've become" but that one has been lost to the ages and too many shots of tequila at the student bar (some say thankfully, I would happen to agree with them).

Anyway, when I wasn't writing songs I was sitting therebeing angsty and underappreciated, and when I wasn't doing that, I was writing terrible Green Day fanfiction. Here's a snippet:

"Zoe-Jade! Get your lazy butt down here!" You groaned and rolled over. Must . . . Sleep . . . "ZOE!!!"
"Alright, alright," you muttered, getting up.. You quickly got dressed and went downstairs, grabbing some Pop Tarts in the kitchen.
"Im warning you, young lady, if youre late for school, I swear Ill -"
"Lay off, Dad, its not like you care." you said.


CRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWLLLLIIINNNNGGG IIINNNNNN MMYYYYYY SKKKIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN

*ahem* Anyway, I may add to this if I find anything else. xD I laughed the whole way through this. I can't believe I actually left the house dressed how I did. Did you know I used to wear an old school shirt which I'd written things all over, like "Darkness is the only thing that is real" and sh*t like that? Or that my favourite quote was, "I love it when it rains because then no one can tell you are crying"?

I was deep, man. Too deep.

Off to lol at myself a little more,
xx Fionnuala xx
March 8th, 2011 at 12:57am