I'd like to explain something

Sometimes I don't feel good. About anything. Sometimes I feel like the whole fucking sky is falling, and often I actually feel bad about feeling like the sky is falling. Sometimes I feel totally alone.

But then. Then there are those other times. The times when My Chemical Romance is playing and I remember.

Remember that what I'm going through, how I feel, is felt by others.

Remember that I have people who care about me, whether or not they actually know me personally.

Remember that I am worth something.

This band—these four fucking guys pouring their hearts out on stage—are heroes. Yes, yes, "I'm just a man, I'm not a hero", got it. But that doesn't change what they mean to me, or how I see them. Gerard Way, Ray Toro, Mikey Way, Frank Iero. My fucking heroes.

They haven't saved my life, but without them, I might not be here right now. They helped me save my life. That's why it upsets me so when they are ever referred to as a 'suicide cult'. How can people who have actually helped to save me from the brink of killing myself, me and countless others, be preaching a message of suicide?

I don't understand it—I don't understand a lot of things. But what I do understand is that this band, this army, this whole fucking movement has impacted my life so drastically and for the better. They make me not only appreciate the sonic and lyrical quality of songs, but message as well. Yes, I can still appreciate meaningless catchy songs—but I don’t align myself with that kind of music, those kinds of people anymore. And I know that if I had, well. Safe to say (judging from the fates of ex-friends and my already addictive personality) that if I hadn’t found My Chemical Romance, I wouldn’t be the person I am right now and.

And goddammit. I may not have the highest self-esteem, but. But I like me. I like who I am, especially compared to who I could have been. And the flaws I do see, these boys have given me the courage to try and change.

My father died from cancer when I was 5. I didn't know how to feel about it. I didn't know him, so it seems crazy for me to be upset over the death of someone I don't remember. But he's still my dad. The fact is, I can't listen to the song Cancer without bawling. In 2007 I saw My Chemical Romance for the first time (it was also my first concert ever) on the Projekt Revolution tour, the first show in Auburn at the White River Amphitheater. Aside from the show being memorable as it was the first time I met anyone in a band, being the first show I ever went to, being my first mosh pit, being the first place I ever really felt like I belonged, the show was exceptionally memorable for one reason. During My Chem's set, right before Cancer, the music stopped--no background riffs, no feedback even. Silence. And then, Gerard opened his mouth and said "I want to dedicate this song to everyone who has been affected by cancer. I love you--we love you, and we're here for you". Safe to say, I broke down. I cried more than I ever remember crying since then, and before. And my sister, who chaperoned me at the concert, was nowhere to be found. Then, suddenly, an arm wrapped around my shoulder and a girl whom I didn't know pulled me to her. We hugged and it was as I was being hugged by everyone in that stadium. When we pulled away she smiled at me, used her thumb to wipe some stray tears off my cheek, and turned back to the band. Her hand lingered on my shoulder for a moment until I turned back to the stage as well. I can't think of a time where I've ever felt more comforted. And then I realized that the song could do that as well--it didn't have to be something of mourning, it could be something to help comfort me. That isn't to say I don't still cry when hearing Cancer, but now it's for a different reason, and, as cliché as it is to say, I feet like someone is there, crying with me. And that hasn't changed.

The thing that means the most to me is that they haven’t changed. Viewpoints, quality, hairstyles have changed, but they haven’t. They still care desperately about their fans, and they’re still out to change lives and. And that’s pretty fucking admirable, whether you like them or not, and if you do. It’s one of the most amazing things about them, and it actually speaks to the good of human character.

I am forever indebted. I am forever a fan. I am forever a member of the MCRmy.

This is not a band, this is a rock 'n' roll exorcism. These are not men, these are heroes. These are not fans, this is an army.