The grips of depression...someone save me?

I guess I have never been truly depressed up until now. I mean sure, I've had a bad day or maybe even a bad week full of homework and rain. But it's been a full month since I've been truly happy.

And there are so many reasons for that....yet they all seem so ridiculous. In drama we have to open ourselves up and convert all of the energy we've been storing up into acting and focus. So today we did an exercise called "I feel" and it's basically where you go in a corner and just talk about how you feel and start every sentence with "I feel" No one can hear you, but it's good to verbalize it.

And when I sat in my corner...it all just dawned on me.
I have been trying SO hard to be a better version of myself, partly because recently I had a relationship thing with a guy and he sort of ended it and ever since then I've been second guessing myself, re-evaluating myself. I feel like I'm not as good as all of these other girls in my drama area who are so beautiful and so talented. I put myself below them so they'll accept me, then I lose confidence in myself and everything that I have going for me.

I just get stuck in this whirlpool of emotions about love and where I'm going to go in life and...mostly who I am. One second I'm one way, and the next I'm a totally different person. But randomly I'll just start crying....and all of these emotions...I can't handle them.

What do I do??

Please...someone just hear me. I don't know where to go anymore. I've relied to much on others for help and here I am, asking you guys to help. I'm just confused and tired. I'm going to bed. Somebody? Anyone?
BLAH.