Sometimes the most amazing people take the tiniest step into your life. A few years later a huge leap & suddenly they're the most important thing to you in the world. & then like that, they can be taken away.
This amazing girl that I am with right here, my Sammydoll, my best friend, my ex girlfriend. I may never see this girl again. Because I tried to help her. Because I tried to save her life. This picture may have been taken on the last day I ever get to spend with her & the last time I got talk to her I wasn't smart enough to say "I love you, best friend." all I could say was "I'll miss you too. Bye." That's all. I don't know why, I just couldn't say anything else.
I have been crying my eyes out for the past three days, thinking about how this girl may be ripped out of my life forever. No, she is not dying. I got her to tell the SAFE councilor at school that her parents are abusive & she was talking about suicide over the weekend & now they don't want me in her life anymore because they don't like people telling them how to raise their kids & because they think I'm gay. Which I technically am. Today her father said he was taking her to the "authorities" and they were taking her. What the h*ll the authorities are I have no f*cking idea. So I don't know where she is or if she's safe because she can't call me because they took everything away from her & she might not even be with her parents anymore.
I am going to miss her more than anything, if she is in deed gone. I have never cared about someone this much. I have never been brought to tears by the same simple thoughts for four days in a row. & now, she might be gone. I may never be able to tell her how fucking much she means to me. How much she matters in my life. I can't help but keep thinking that this is all my fault. If I hadn't of told the SAFE councilor, if I hadn't of medled, if I hadn't of cared so fucking much none of this would be happening & she might be safe. But no, now she's gone & I may never see her again. & these thoughts are killing me. Eating away at my heart till I have nothing more to care about.
If this girl is not at school tomorrow, I am going to have a breakdown. In the middle of the courtyard, in front of all of my friends & strangers, I will be crying. There will be tears pouring down my face & I will be sobbing. I can see this happening. It's so clear in my mind. I don't want this to come true. I want her to be there, safe & well. I want to be able to see her, stop, & then start running at her & give her the biggest hug ever screaming "YOU'RE ALIVE" at the top if my lungs. & then possibly burst into tears. But not because she isn't there. Not because she'll probably never be there again. & now, every time the phone starts ringing I stop everything I am doing & run to it. Hoping, wishing, praying with everything thing that I have, that it is her. Safe & okay. I don't know if that's going to happen, though. I just don't know.
Please, everyone, wish, hope, pray do whatever it is that you do that my best friend is safe.