The green monster.

I have this cousin that lives in Louisiana, and I was raised with her like a sister. I'm not going to give her a name, because if you know me personally, you already know who i'm talking about. I'm always saying how much I love her, and how she's like a sister to me, and how I just can't live without her. But that is only partially true.
Deep inside, deeper than i'm willing to admit, I really hate her.

Even when I was really little, I felt sore towards her. On my birthday, we would both get presents and love, as if we we're twins. But on her's I was treated like I didn't exist. I was such a jealous little girl, and to be honest, in my teenage years, I still am.

As we grew older, she was obviously more amazing than I could ever be.
When she sang, people cried at how beautiful it was. Nobody cared to hear me.
She was top of her class in dancing and tumbling. I can't even do a cartwheel.
Everytime her mom entered her in a beauty pageant, she won. I was an ugly child, and i'm still not the best looking person around.
Worst of all, everyone loves her.

When me and her go visit the family, all the cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents jump up to shower her with love and hugs and kisses.
When they see me, I just get a weak smile and a awkward side hug.
It kills me inside everytime.

You know what has kept me going these past few years?
The fact that I can draw okay, and she can't do anything with pencil.
The fact that i'm slightly smarter, and she was barely getting by.

But thats gone know.
She enrolled in private school and is now an honor student.
She took one semester of art class, and she's now and expert.

I feel like I can't have anything.