You're f**kin perfect to me.

So, ever since tuesday, I've been like sick, like the kind of sick where you want to vomit all over the place sick... and I felt so bad today and I just got so much sicker throughout the day, and it was worse, especially as the time went by during second... since the next period was 4th...

And I have 4th period with him.

When I got to the class, I felt soo sick it wasn't even funny. And thankfully, he didn't come. Sadly enough, I actually wanted to see him. I wanted to know if... maybe he would be nice or like he was on tuesday... or at least check up on me.

But no, I haven't seen him yesterday, or today. And apparently all the seniors are skipping tomorrow since we have this touch base thing going on, which means I won't see him at lunch. ): or after on my way to multimedia. ):

But yes. I really want to see him now. Like really badly. and I also want a hug from him. A nice long warm and very good smelling hug... :) and for him to reassure me that things will get better... even if nothing seems good.

Oh, and one of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend today. And the thing is, we told her that he was no good. And we even made bets on how long the relationship would last. And she never listened to us and now she's depressed.

But I told her to smile since being sad won't change anything. But smiling will. (I learned that from the drama I'm watching!) :D

and my god... This morning was horrible. Since I was still sad about what happened tuesday (before the supposed "complement" and nice hugs)... and one of my friends, who will tell the truth about anything... told me "It's just a chinchilla."

First off, james told that to me after I told him what happened. But then his outlook changed like near the end of my visit to his work place. And he even reassured me that things would get better. And gave me a hug before he went back to work.

Second, Koala bear was not just a chinchilla. I've had him for 7 years and I raised him to be the well mannered (for the most part) chinchilla he was. He was like my son, I loved him so much. I was there to teach him how to go up the stairs. I taught him how to go down. I stuck with him and encouraged him while my mom potty trained him. I even stuck up for him when the other male chinchillas didn't include him in their activities. Since apparenly in their world, if you don't have balls, you're either a girl or gay. And since he was a boy, they just assumed he was gay. it was sad. And what was really depressing is that they made his best and only friend leave him to hang out with them. either way, he wasn't just a chinchilla. he was family. Family that was loved (when the rest wasn't) and he'll forever be missed.

F-ck. I need to see james! I... know I shouldn't but I need to...

Questions?
1. Ever want to see someone so badly and yet not want to?
2. Should I text James or should I let him text me first (which he never does btw. It was amazing he even went out of his way to say hi to me on tuesday...)
3. Would you be sad if your dog died and someone told you it was just a dog?
4. Idk...what to put here... ):