I keep wondering if I should even try to patch things over between us. I know that the second I start to get my hopes up again, you'll have to go back to school and time will get away from us and we won't talk for weeks and all of a sudden we're strangers again. I don't know if I want to fix everything because I need someone to depend on, or if I'm just in love with the idea of what we could be to each other.
Truth is, I need to get my shit together. I don't know how long it's going to take or what I'm going to have to do to get better, but either you're in my life and in it for the long haul, or you just need to go away. I feel bad and I'm sorry and I do miss you, but I can't keep doing this. I just can't.
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