The Second Coming of Tiger Mother.

Dear Mibba, please tell me if you see something wrong with this picture:

With a 3.86 GPA, a total of 10 AP classes that I have taken/am taking/will take, two extracurriculars, no serious drug habits/partying, I am considered the family failure.

See, I have dreams of becoming a doctor and getting my MD. Any other parent would be thrilled, but not my parents. They resent me because I don't want to get a PHD and become an engineer.

And because I want to focus on my career, I do not want to have kids. I'm not very kid-oriented, and I just never felt that I would make a good mother. I also never really got the obsession with kids. I'm more of a cat person, myself. And they resent me for that.

In comparison to my older brother, I have already failed at 16 years old. He had a 4.0 and got a 2370 on his SATs. He went to Yale University. He is now at Johns Hopkins, the best medical school in the United States. He's getting his MD and his PHD. He has a bachelor's in biomedical engineering. He is about to propose and move in with his gorgeous girlfriend. They just bought a house, and they both want to have kids. He's succeeding in medical school, and so is she.

And I have to live up to that.

See, I'm smart. I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I don't have many fabulous qualities, but I like to think that I'm intelligent. I'm no genius, but I'm alright. But that's not enough for my family. Even though I am way beyond average in comparison to other kids my age, they never fail to make me feel like I am a disappointment. They never really come right out and say it, but it's the way they don't say it, perhaps, that shows it most blatantly.

When asked about their children, they fawn over my brother for hours. When redirected to me, they do not mention how I am a good photographer. They do not mention how I am a talented singer. They do not mention my good grades, or plethora of AP classes. Instead they say, "Oh, she's a good student, too." and continue talking about my brother's achievements.

Well, it should come as no surprise that I have zilch self-esteem. I also have serious anxiety issues. You know that scene in Black Swan where Natalie Portman takes the skin around her nail and rips it off, making herself bleed? I do that. Except half the time, I don't even notice it. Every time I get stressed, I just begin to mutilate. And today I told my mother that.

She said: "Maria, you're overreacting. Go back to your math homework, you have a quiz tomorrow."

Do I have to hold a gun up to my head to get her to worry? Do I have to be convulsing on the floor for her to believe that I have panic attacks at school? What do I have to do to make her care about me as a person?

She assesses my self-worth based on my grades. I am my GPA and college acceptance letters.

And it's really making me feel like a worthless piece of sh*t.