GAH

well, it's pretty ridiculous how much things can change.
in February, you came to me, begging me to talk to you. you got upset when i would ignore you. you seemed genuine, maybe you were. you broke up with your girlfriend for me. that part i'm not really proud of, but you dug this mess. this mess that could've been over last summer.

But instead it's April again, and instead of resolving anything, you made it hurt that much more. i wish you didn't come back then. because i was with a creepy kid, but i was getting over you.

so, i let you back in. i can still recite the texts. "baby, i don't want to be too late. i'm sure this time, its you. i won't hurt you this time." "I remember in the summer, when i felt like i had nothing, and you were there holding my hand in central park, and us being us was the only thing that made me feel happy." well, how come you can brush me off so easily?

you're back with her. and you had the nerve to block me on everything. make me feel like i'm helpless, and like i lost my mind. like i made it all up. the saddest part is i wish i did. but i know at some point you did care.

and lastly, saying "get it through your fucking head, i don't love you" after a month before that saying "stop questioning me, stop worrying, i love you baby<3" is why you have the reputation you do.

and me telling you that you're a lot better than cheating on you're girlfriend, after i agreed to be friends with you after ALL this, wasn't a bad thing. you're so much better than what you're doing. what you're going to do. you know how this ends, you've done it before.

but i assure you this time i won't be there to pick up the pieces. and it wasn't neccesary to drag me down again just when i was starting to figure out that i don't need you. what we had was something i really doubt anyone has ever seen, it was so fucked up, so perfect at times. it was a mess, but it was our mess. like the penguins need their wings.

but please, don't ever come back to me.