I have problems and they're going to be the death of me.

"This ain't no sideshow
This is the great unknown
This is the poison we take

Outside the velvet rope
Standing there all alone
Are the grotesque and ashamed
Yeah

If you think real beauty's on the outside
Well that's a far cry
From the truth

Maybe all the information you received
Well you should not believe
There's no proof

Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people
It's time to run from the lies of the beautiful people."

F*cking amazing song, courtesy of Nikki Sixx, James Michael, and DJ Ashba.

I am so pumped for Sixx:AM's new album + book combo, This Is Gonna Hurt For those of you that don't know, they created this masterpiece with the intention of showing their viewers/listeners/readers where true beauty lies.

This topic is where my biggest problem lies. Most days I'll wake up, look in the mirror, and be brought to tears by what I see staring back at me. I'm 5'1" and 134 pounds, which everyone I know says is not much, but it is to me. All I see is short, fat, and unattractive. I know that pretty much every teenager has issues with this from time to time, but mine are beyond normal. This hate for myself is taking over my life. It's all I think about, I'm always miserable, I'm constantly comparing myself to other people, and I think I may be developing an eating disorder. I've lost about 15 pounds since November but I still feel inadequate. Nikki's book is stressing the importance of realizing that true beauty lies within a person's mind and soul, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I follow him closely on facebook and seeing all of his posts helps me, but it still isn't enough. This book and album will be like therapy for me, but will this ever stop? I am sick and tired of being depressed and seeing myself as disgusting. Why does society have to be so superficial? Why did I have to grow up around a mother who was constantly monitoring her weight? (She's taller than me and weighs less and calls herself fat) Why can't I seem to kick this filthy habit of putting myself down?

Why?

I feel so traumatized
Doped up and televised
Life can be cruel and insane
Yeah

But we've got these ugly scars
On our infected hearts
Maybe it's time for a change
Yeah

And if you think real beauty's on the outside
Well that's a far cry
From the truth

Maybe all the information you received
Well you should not believe
There's no proof

Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people
It's time to run from the lies of the beautiful people