Forever and Always

It's been a long time since I last posted here.

And well, things were okay.

Now, I'm not so sure.

Even though I am in college and that my boyfriend and I are about to have our anniversary in a few weeks, I still feel alone.

Sure everything was not like this before.

I mean, I made friends and all and I fell in love.

I found happiness in the little things like the breeze and the sun.

I fixed all of my issues in my family.

But there is this nagging sensation in the back of my mind.

I still feel alone.
The urge to cut is still there.
New problems arise.

Is this what will happen every time from now on?

I guess so.

It seems to be something I am cursed with.

Something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

AND THAT SCARES ME.

I do not want to be constantly afraid of the future.

I do not want to change who I am again just to make sure I do not have to feel alone.

NO.

I am not the kind of person that would just conform to have friends.

But why does it have to hurt to be different?

I dunno. Maybe it is really just something wrong with me.

Sorry. [/rant]