So there's this boy..(Yup, it's one of those journals)

As the title suggests, there's this boy that lives down my road, and yes, I am pretty damn crazy about him. I don't want to say the L word yet, due to previous relationship experiences, but that's what it feels like right now.

He's a real sweetheart, honestly, I have never met anyone as nice as him. When we're together, we act like the best of friends, watching soppy romances together, teasing and tickling each other, texting all the time, that kind of thing. All friendly stuff, right?

And yesterday, we went to town, ending up in the park. It got cold and we ended up cuddling, his face nuzzled in my neck, him pretty much on top of me. If I'd moved my head a little I could of kissed him. But I didn't. I just....I don't know, I froze. It seems silly, seeing as I'm 17 and have kissed people before with no problem. It's just...him. I don't know what it is.

And another complication that may or may not be significant? He's one of my recent ex's close friends. We split up about a month ago because in all honesty, I find relationships difficult. I was suffocating with him, and had little free time to actually spend with him anyway. We're still good friends now, but he'd be pretty hurt if I got together with his friend.

I don't even know what I want any more.

That all came out in a jumble, but I have to get my thoughts out somehow. Advice, anyone? Do you think I'm being over cautious?

Thanks for reading :)