Let's Gag On Some Farting Frogs, EVERYBODYYYYY :D

You know what I hate? Get your earplugs. YOUR MOM FARTING EVERY THREE MOTHERF*CKING SECONDS!!!!!!!! O.O (heave, heave, heave) yup, so I was just sitting there, being a "good" little girl and TRYING to do my homework, when all of a sudden I hear a freakin' grenade go off. I looked up at my mother in horror, but her face was all giggles and bunny-pink. WEELLL, I'm like, "What the hell was that?!" and she gasped out, "I tuted." between laughs. I almost fell off my chair. "THAT WASN'T A F*CKINg TUTE, THAT WAS A BOMB!" I said in awe. Actually, I had been surprised by how she JUST FARTED OUT OF NOWHERE, but then I was sooooo proud and in awe that she could really let em RIIIPPPP like that xD... aw yeah, you know you're jealous ;DDD
Welllllllll, it didn't last long before I got a wiff of it. So this is how it went: I started to smell somethin' that smelled slightly of dead babies and puke. it had teased me for a few seconds, then.. BAAAMM! just like that I almost died. My eye twitched. My shouulder followed, and I ran out of the room screaming. My mom was laughing hysterically behind me, having trouble standing, and clutching the counter for support. well, of course SHE would be the one who got a kick out of it... or should I say..... RIPP out of it?? xD AHAAAAA U.U aw, d*mn, think I just listed myself in the top tens for worst joke ever told.... M.M
After ten minutes of trying to air out my nostrils, I tip-toed back downstairs and peeked around the corner, sniffing lightly. When I knew the coast was clear, I scampered out from my shield of protection, cautiously stepping around herrr.....
and sure enough, right when I was walking behind her, she let another round go off. AHHHHHH I almost died on my nasty a$$ kitchen floor. But instead of running like I wanted to, I started gagging, sounding like I was trying to choke up a f*cking frog. My mother started laughing with her dumb-ass laugh that makes everybody laugh, so I broke out in laughter too, but I was gagging at the same time, and I sounded like a bugaboo on crack. that made her laugh harder. fml. I started backing away, my face burning red as I tried to breathe between my choking.
Ya, this went on about.... six more times? After a while I just gave up, fleeing to the safety of a safe, AIR FILTERED ROOM (aka, my bedroom). while I could still hear her explosive farts, and the stupid ass laughing that followed--from me and her. Once she started laughing, I did, and together.... I'll be truthful, we sounded like two idiot monkeys trying to open a can with their freakin' teeth. it was horrible, and I'm sure if my neigbours were nearby, they thought somebody was gettin it on or something. EWWW >.< but anyway......
Ya, this was my night tonight, and I hope I NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE ITTT.. Jeeze, next Friday night I'm going out with my friends instead of choking on my mother's atomic-freakin-bomb FARTSSS -___- ya, IT'S CALLED LAXATIVES, MOOOMMM!!!