All I think about

You were all i thought about, all i cared about, but then it all changed. you left me alone in a cold world without anyone else to love, I know your happy now but my heart breaks just a little bit more every time I think of you and how i can't be her. I'm sorry I couldn't be the rite one for you and i hope it works out for you.

Why did we have to be just friends? why couldn't we be more than friends? why did u have to care only when something was wrong and not when things were going great? You left me hanging and now I'm lost with nowhere to go but here, I know you won't read this and you wouldn't care if you did but think just a moment how things would be if you had chosen me instead of her.

Am i really that low on the food chain so much that you can't even look me in the eye as you walk by or say hi when you sit at the lunch table? you just ignored what was really important until i showed you how much i really cared and how no matter what happened i will always care. no matter who you are with i will be here waiting for you when something goes wrong to hold you up and help you through and tell you everything is fine even if it's not. why won't you believe me when i say I love you and just think about how much courage it took for me to say it? think how you just run of like it's a joke and I will recover like it's a cut but it's much more, it's a broken heart that will never be truly healed no matter when or how you come and save the day there will always be a small crack in my heart that I will never forget.

Why her why not me what's so much better about her than me? is she prettier? is she smarter? or are u just trying to make me wonder and break my heart? why would you do such a thing? even when i came out and told you exactly how I feel and how i wish things would happen so you just go and ruin my life and break my heart to peices and walk out of my life like its no big deal and i will recover on my own. I could care less if you stayed with her or not I just want you even for just a moment stop and listen to what i have to say. give me an embracing hug and tell me everything will turn out right in the end. I don't know if you will end with her or me but make the right choice and that's all I care about.

Stop right there and listen don't move don't speak don't even think. I want you to know how i really feel and have you not get mad at me or her or anyone else. I wanted you i needed you and I still do now more than ever. you didn't tell me yourself you wouldn't even look me in the eye and say hi as I passed by. I love you and you know it there's no changing how i feel so don't even try to. I know not everything can go as I wish it will but just once can you make one wish come true. just stop and hug me tight embrace me like it's the end of the world and don't let go. tell me how you really feel even if it's going to break my heart! I want to hear the truth from you. it won't make me get over you but it will help me get through it without pain and suffering sleeplessness and racing thoughts. I want you to know I love you and now you can go on with your life with her or me or whoever you choose but please, for me, make the right decision.

I want to blame it on you but it cant be because of you, so I blame it on her but can't because she isn't the problem, maybe i am the problem. so I just sit in the very spot I'm in now and cut dig and bleed till I can't go any further and cry until i run out of tears and then just lay hear in pain and wonder why I really did it. was it to punish you or her or to punish myself for being to ignorant and mutilating myself to get through it all by mutilating myself again and again until.....

It needs to stop just make it all stop right now the pain the crying the blood and the heart ach just make it all go away the urge to reach for that small tool and do it just one more time, one more, one more until you can't stop it become the normal as does crying, sleeplessness and heart ach. can't eat can't sleep can't talk can't move just lay here and think about you and her and how I could have been in her spot not have ot go through the pain and suffering until something finally goes right

It finally happened, you and me were together at last! It was ruined by those who we thought were there for us, they betrayed us like no friend ever should, I'm sorry, I take the blame for all of it, eventually this will all come to an end and this will all be a dream, a fantasy, a vision in our minds, but then we are reminded of what happened, the pain returns, to much to bare, we cry and scream but no one can hear us, our calls for help lost in the cold and darkness of our lives. No one can save us from our selves. We become unaware of the world around us and do the things we vowed we wold never do again

Why do you act like you love me then tell me we are just friends, like brother and sister. I know not every wish can come true and even if every 11:11 I wish for you it will never happen I try anyway. It breaks my heart when I see you with her, and think how I could be in her spot and be as happy as she is. I love you and you are happy with her so that is all that counts.

Do you think you could try to not be so amazing for a little while, or get off my mind for the day. I love you too much to be your friend but i am your best friend so it's not right to be in love with you. What am I supposed to do?