So, I live in a family that's all broken to pieces and dysfunctional as all get out. My dad divorced my mom when I was maybe five and then went off to become all rich and never really see us (us being my younger brother and I), my mom, however, spiralled downwards with the two of us and I'm surprised we have the money to pay for the internet I'm using right now. My dad is the douchey type who tries to bye his kids loves with excessive amounts of gifts and an overall bad attitude. He thinks we're his PAs. We're not. I've come to terms with the fact that he's still going to ask me to do things that are far past what I'm used to. Like calling into his work to talk to his assistant about something. Big no. I've come to terms with the fact that after doing that he'll say he's sorry and that he didn't mean to upset me and that it will never happen again. Let's go shopping. It's awesome, right?
I'm the kind of person that hates even the thought of taking advantage of other people. Oh, that hobo over there passed out, let's take the few cents he's made so far today. I know it's different and that that's a weird analogy, but it's how I feel. I can not and will not ask for things like my brother does. I like standing on my own feet, no matter how clumsy they are. I don't want to be that rich kid who gets everything and thinks that once something breaks it's no big deal, daddy will just have to shove out the cash for a new one. My brother, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. If something's there, he'll take it. I've caught him sneaking money from my 'stash'. He makes everybody else pay his way. He breaks something and shrugs, even if it's a brand new iPod touch or a hundred dollar cell phone he'd just gotten. It doesn't matter, I'll get a new one. That's his philosophy. He asks for outrageous things and he gets them.
So, around Christmas I asked if I could maybe get a new phone since the one I have now is literally dying. A few months ago my dad came back to the states with one of those brand new iPhones and after watching me play with it for a bit he asked if I'd want one. I was all too enthusiastic. My brother just rolled his eyes like it was pathetic, 'who'd want one of those when you can have one of these.' Last night, my dad decided that I'd waited a sufficient amount of time and bought me an iPhone and I was soooooo happy. I was literally bouncing off the walls. Around here, no one gets stuff like that.
Today, my brother called me out and asked me why I was so special. He literally said, "What makes you so cool that you get an iPhone? Why don't I get one?" I brought up the fact that last Christmas he got an XBox 360, a brand new computer, and a new cell phone since he broke his last one and that I only got a Photoshop program. Hell, both my parents forgot my 16th birthday. I don't ever really ask for that much that often. I also told him that when dad had asked he'd said that he wouldn't want one ever because he had an iPod touch and his own cell phone. He denies ever saying that.
The point is he got really upset and that in the process of him getting really upset I got really upset. Is it so wrong for me to actually get something I want? Is it wrong that I finally opened my mouth and asked for something? Is it right for me to feel so guilty for it? Because I sure feel guilty for it.
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