I'm not sure anymore.

Last night kind of opened my eyes. Sure it was a blast, but I'm thinking over it tonight (after having removed that veil that I hide behind) and I'm starting to think differently. I'm not sure if I've covered all my thoughts with another veil, or if I've merely moved the already existing one, but I'm seeing things in a different light. I'm questioning what I should do, or who I am.. I'm re-thinking what I do and how I do it, and I'm questioning my motives. I'm questioning everything, and I'm questioning my intelligence. It's pissing me off that I can't just find an answer, and I'm furious I'm not more decisive. Why can't I just make a decision? Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't everything just be mellow, why can't I just hope for a future that is just as peaceful and quiet as the moment I wish for so much, but never seem to find? Why can't I just let myself see the beauty, hear the silence, feel the peace?