Talking to you on March tenth.

i know, hmph. well. it's gonna leave my mind at one point. there's no solution, i don't wanna talk about it. i really wanted to hug you for like..ever in the hallway. i don't think you understand how much a love you. and i don't ever understand why i like..do..i mean, when i think about you, just you, i seriously start crying cuz of how much i love you. i'm pathetic, i know. i just don't want to lose you..ever. when i looked at you weird today when i was standing in front of you, i meant to say I love you, but I'm not sure why I dropped it. I have no idea what my problem is, and it's starting to drive me crazy. I just love you. Anyway, I am just stressed out, I have so much piled on me, I am so paranoid of everything, I am just afraid of what's going to happen now. and now i constantly ask why i need to be here..and i decided i'm not going to kill myself, because that could ruin the meaning of why you were living or something. i want for my life to be over with though, i'm impatient, i'm afraid of time. i'm so intensely afraid of losing you. you don't ever know. i don't even know. no one knows. i would give you specifics of what the eff is wrong with me, but what's the point. ramble,ramble,ramble. alright. then you know what it is, all you can do is apologize for something not your fault, you could feel bad, but that's not what i want, i don't want you to think of me the way i am, i don't want you to think worse. i trust you like no other. i'm just..i wanna be done with people, with living right now.