So, I'm a bitch. I'm not saying that sarcastically or ironically, either. I am honestly admitting to the reality that I am, in fact, a nasty girl to be around.
I. Am. A bitch.
It's not like I've always been like this. Blah blah blah, bullied in Elementary School scarred me for life. Yeah, it sucks, but I don't care about that anymore. It helped me grow as a person and now I'm stronger than ever. And therein lies my problem. I'm so strong that I've gotten good at tossing people aside when they get too annoying.
Background info:
I have a fascination for odd people. I mean real weirdos. If you've been cast from normal society, I will probably befriend you if given the chance. BUT I also have a passionate hatred for annoying people (odd and annoying goes hand-in-hand so often). This means I continue to befriend freaks, and then get annoyed and kick them out of the group. I cannot count how many times I've done this, or how many girls I've hurt. (One of the girls and I are now very good friends, but that was after a year of silence from both of us).
The point is: I know that I've made some people really upset in the past, and I really should seek them out and apologize, but I REALLY don't feel like it. Most of them are over it anyway. That's the wonderful thing about people: some are strong enough to move on.
Well, there's this girl. Let's call her... Jocelyn (because that's her name. HA!). Jocelyn and I became very close friends in grade nine. Best friends. We even had annoying nicknames for each other (Smile-Cookie). We used to shout from down the halls, run and hug each other, and piss off everyone around us with our loudness.
I grew out of it. She did not.
We slowly drifted apart. By that I mean I started to ignore her more and more. She had begun to stalk me, and it got creepy. We were both on this webside called Gaia Online (boring, don't try it), and she saw that our other friend, Hannah, was in the "Mutual Friends" section. Well Jocelyn didn't know what a "mutual friend" was, and yelled at me. "Why aren't I a mutual friend, huh? Why is Hannah more important than me?" I was very confused, and then very angry.
I decided she was a crazy bitch that must be avoided.
It was very difficult to push her away from me. She just could not take a hint! I literally got mean. I told her she couldn't sing, I blabbed one of her huge secrets to a crowd of people, I turned away when she walked towards me. NOTHING WORKED!
Last year in our Writer's Craft class, she stands in front of the class and pours her heart out through both poem and short story about her "nameless" ex-best friend that hurt her so badly. Years after our friendship ends, and she was still pissed off about it.
And now we're back to the present:
I don't know what prompted me to write this journal entry. I just really wanted to rant about the freak who sends me glares everyday we pass in the hall. I've tried to apologize, to shut her up, but it just doesn't work. She is determined to annoy me till the end of High School!
Jeez, I should turn this into a story...
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