My life all about ME

I used to call myself ugly, and fat( i'm the average size)
Just because i couldn't fit into a size 8, 9 or 10 i got upset! The Word ugly is how people address me! I'M NOT UGLY i am beautiful and i wish i could believe that!
I started to beLIEve what people would call me but I know in my heart it cannot be true. My feelings stay hurt at night i stay awake wondering how school will be the next day. Before I go to bed i take 2 anti-depressant pills and a sleeping pill just to go to sleep and in the morning one pill for A.D.H.D. My problems pile high as I keep them bottled up in side. I don't want to be a gasoline can that explodes when fire or pressure hits it. I want to be happy and smiling with friends and family not sitting at home all alone, I wonder what life is like with friends , to tell you the truth I have none but one named Ariel we hardly talk if so at all and this girl named Kayla who is faker than ever always talks to me! I've been hurt so many times and no one at school will even talk to me some people just see me as invisible. I wish this were all fake but its not its my life. No wonder high school sucks! I'm in 9th grade for crying out loud i should be in clubs , have friends, even go to hang out! All i do is sit in the house all day because i have no one to talk to or go to the movies with or even shop! My mom and dad are very supportive. But my brothers are a nightmare, you don't call your own sister, ugly and fat (I'M NOT EVEN BIG)!!
I'm depressed because of people like you and i wish i would of never let it get to me! SUICIDE IS OUT OF THE QUESTION I WILL NEVER EVER KILL MYSELF or even runaway!! I'm just a sad little teen girl who just wants friends and better brothers!,

- WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED!